I am inviting authors to visit and share their experiences with revision. My guest today is Gordon L. Rottman, and he writes western and dystopian themed novels. His current published books are The Hardest Ride and Tears in the River from Taliesin Publishing. Like me, he enjoys playing around with POV in his drafts, and here are his thoughts and examples of how he goes about choosing the right tone for his work. Go ahead and send a comment to let Gordon know which version you think will work better for his work in progress. From Gordon L. Rottman: Countless times in writers’ groups and on-line discussion groups we hear, “How do I decide which point of view I use” or “How do I choose the right POV?” For starters, there are no rules, regardless what some many tell you. For example, a “rule” is that young adult books should be 1st person and adult fiction, 3rd person. Ignore that. Let’s say you’re starting a book. No doubt you’ve thought about it a lot and have constructed scenes in your mind. In what POV did you envision those scenes? What sounds right for your protag, her environment and situation? How deep into your protag’s mind do you want the reader to see? Her intimate thoughts or keep her mysterious with questions about her motives or abilities. Another way to decide is a “write test,” like a “screen test” so to speak. Write a chapter or a scene you envisioned. It doesn’t have to be the book’s beginning, any part you want. Write it in the 1st person POV and then write the same scene in the 3rd person. You might give it a day or so between the two “write tests.” Once they’re done, read through them both. Which archives the “feel” or voice you want? You can also take them to your critique group, but remember, they probably do not fully understand the voice you’re looking for. Too, you might have decided which you preferred while writing the two pieces. I started a YA dystopian in 3rd person and six chapters into it I decided I wanted to get deeper into the protags mind. I rewrote the first chapter in the 3rd person, liked it, and converted the rest in a short day. Rather than the common 3rd person for my Western novel, The Hardest Ride (Taliesin Publishing), I went with 1st person as I wanted the reader to see more of the protag’s—Bud’s—personality and emotions. It worked well as it allowed him to be more of a conduit to understanding Marta, a mute 16-year old Mexican girl. In 1st person he could better express how his relationship with the feisty girl evolved. Example: From a work in progress, Blazing Summer. The protag, Ashley, is with a crew undertaking forest firefighter training. Third Person A shovel load of dirt spattered on Ashley’s feet. “Oops. Who didn’t control his shovel?” The Bulldozer was smirking at her. Ashley ignored him. There was gravel in her shoes. Another spray of dirt hit her. “Sorry, I’m sloppy.” “Really. More like so uncoordinated you’d trip over air.” Another shovel full followed, which she daftly sidestepped. She was gritting her teeth. Don’t start anything, she ordered herself. She’d known to expect this. Ashley was ready to dodge the next shovelful, but the instant she swung her pulaski to cut a stob, Bulldozer swung a shovelful at her tool and the dirt hit Matt’s legs to her left making it look like Ashley had caused the flying dirt. “Hey! Watch it!” “Sorry.” She glared at the Bulldozer smoldering. Jenny had seen it all, but ignored it. Finally she shouted, “Control your tool.” The Bulldozer didn’t launch any more misaimed shots. They kept working to the right. Her forearms and shoulders burned. Sweet ran into her dust-filled eyes. Everything’s got to end sometime, she hoped. They’d reached the road after six-hundred feet. They were done. Beth swiped her bandanna over her sweat and dust-covered face and with cheery enthusiasm shouted, “Fresh air, the great outdoors, an aerobic workout, and they’re paying us for this!” Ashley spit out a gob of muddy salvia. Or - First Person A shovel load of dirt spattered on my feet. “Oops. Who didn’t control his shovel?” The Bulldozer was smirking at me. I ignored him. There was gravel in my shoes. Another spray of dirt hit me. “Sorry, I’m sloppy.” “Really. More like so uncoordinated you’d trip over air.” Another shovel full followed, which I daftly sidestepped. I gritted my teeth. Don’t start anything, I ordered myself. I’d known to expect this. I was ready to dodge the next shovelful, but instant I swung my Pulaski to cut a stob, Bulldozer swung a shovelful at my tool and the dirt hit Matt’s legs to my left making it look like I’d caused the flying dirt. “Hey! Watch it!” “Sorry.” I gave Bulldozer what I hoped was a smoldering glare. Jenny had seen it all, but ignored it. Finally she shouted, “Control your tool.” The Bulldozer didn’t launch any more misaimed shots. We kept working to the right. My forearms and shoulders burned. Sweet ran into my dust-filled eyes. Everything’s got to end sometime, I tried to convince myself. We reached the road after six-hundred feet. We were done. Beth swiped her bandanna over her sweat and dust-covered face and with cheery enthusiasm shouted, “Fresh air, the great outdoors, an aerobic workout, and they’re paying us for this!” I spit out a gob of muddy salvia.
Carra
6/20/2014 02:08:47 am
I preferred the 3rd person version, I feel like in that sequence the 3rd person views can tell you more about what is going on. The 1st person didn't do anything for me, it didnt change. It didnt show her deepest thoughts. For me it feels like he just put in different pronouns. Comments are closed.
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D. G. DriverAward-winning author of books for teen and tween readers. Learn more about her and her writing at www.dgdriver.com Archives
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Write and Rewrite Blog
“There are no bad stories, just ones that haven’t found their right words yet.”
A blog mostly about the process of revision with occasional guest posts, book reviews, and posts related to my books.